The month was August, year 2014. My grandmother had expired two weeks ago and I was not working anywhere. Kind of in the middle of work at that time. Her passing away had an immense effect on me. I began to question the nature of existence and my place in this scheme of things. I was convinced that I needed a break. Besides the fact that I was not working intensified the thought even more.
I wanted to go on a one way travel trip with nobody but myself. I had a few places in mind, but no return date. I was calling it my ‘Spiritual Journey’! My journey to find my own self by travelling the world around me.
Within a few days, I started reading more about what I would need for my journey. I starting purchasing the stuff I would require, started learning different ways of packing clothes so they can be stuffed in my backpack. I had never done this before.
It was a bold move, a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to explore the world through my own eyes.
And then came the moment of truth. The moment when I announced my travel plans with my family.
“I want to go on a trip for a while.” I said. To which my mother replied, “Why do you want to go there all alone?” “How long will you be gone?” “What do you think will happen there?”
“I want to go there because I want to stay alone. I want to go on a spiritual journey. I want to go there so that I can see the goodness of the world. I don’t believe the world around me is bad. I want to see different cities.” I came up with all the reasons I could. In every way I tried, I was not able to come up with the right words to convince her as to why I wanted to go.
I just wanted to go and I knew it deep within. Just that I was not able to communicate the idea with her. I could not tell her why.
Unconvinced with my explanation, she tried to stop me, and she succeeded for 2 weeks after which I finally broke the barrier and left for my journey.
20 days and an experience of a lifetime later, I came back home in one piece with everything the same except for one thing. My thoughts. My thoughts had completely changed. I was happy! Much happier than I was at the time I left. And now, looking back at the incident, I feel that I’m really glad I went for the trip. But that’s now what I want to discuss here.
What I want to discuss is the fact that I lost almost 2 weeks trying to justify to my mother why I wanted to go for the journey. Because I was trying to justify my want, something which is really hard to do as it’s just a want, I was losing courage and letting her make the decision for me.
A want justified is a want weakened
The moment I added a ‘because’ or a ‘so that’ after my want for travel, I weakened it. Simply because it was just a tiny idea in my head. It needed strength to grow, something which comes with more of such thoughts and a support from the surroundings, and the justification was taking away all the energy it had.
So what is the way?
I want this because I want this. There can be no justification to it.
Think about the following.
I want to travel because I want to travel.
I want to start a business because I want to start a business.
I want to earn a lot of money because I want to earn a lot of money.
The sentences in themselves are powerful enough to take you forward with the action. The moment a ‘because’ or a ‘so that’ is added, the power of the sentence diminishes. And that is what I have begun to refrain from doing with my wants.
Think of your wants. What all do you want in life? A big car, a big house, a happy family, money, travel. Are you adding a justification to them when someone asks, thereby making them weak?
Your wants are your wants. They are sacred to you and to you alone. Because you want something means that there is some deep reason, some deep desire for it. You just can’t express it in words right now that’s all. Don’t make your wants weak with justifications. Having the want is a justification in itself. Instead, make them stronger by affirmative action and behavior.
This is indeed one of the best ways of making your dreams come true!